Who decides when WIFE becomes MOTHER???

Another day in the field, accompanied by community health assistants (CHA) we started walking under burning sun for house visit. We visited few houses and left with many questions. But one of the issues made me think who decides when wife becomes mother??

CHA’s took me to Mumtaz (name changed), young charming pregnant ladies house to talk because she had history of previous two abortions!!! When asked about the incident and on further probing it seemed like something was not normal. She was enthusiastic to talk and show all the reports and prescription but could notice some inhibition to talk about abortion. We didn’t want to hurt her emotions, so left that issue and advised to go for regular check up and started talking to her neighbor.

It was her neighbor who gave an insight into the hidden side of the story, which raised many questions about wife’s freedom/choice, ect. The previous abortions were induced by her husband without the wife knowledge because he was not ready to be a father!! Did Mumtaz share the same feeling?? Nobody asked her nor her husband thought it was necessary to tell her before giving those medicines. The simple question anyone would ask is how he did that…it is so easy to buy medicine over the pharmacy counter and asking wife to take it, who has no clue what it may do to her unborn child!!!

My feeling was that she had no regrets or pain for that incident other than wanting to hide it from us.  I felt she has accepted it without questioning because she choose her partner without her parents’ consent and now she has no support from both the families. We had nothing to say except that we are like your family please feel free to come and talk to us whenever you feel like.

Can this be a reason for husband to abort her baby without her knowledge or because he is not ready to father a child? Why people think that abortion is the easier way to prevent a child than to use contraceptive?? Is it a lack of knowledge? Should it be so easy for anyone to buy medicine over the counter and misuse it?? Who has to be blamed for this-system or the socio cultural aspect or male dominance in the society??

And what is the whole story??